If you are going to read any of my posts, understanding a little more about what makes me tick might provide some useful context.

I am a white male of large build, so I have never experienced abuse, prejudice, or discrimination. I had a happy but poor childhood, where school was just a place you went until you were 15 and then found a job, so I am not privileged. I have been fortunate to visit more places and experience more wonders than the average person in our society, but in nature, everything is in balance—so for every peak, there was a trough of equal magnitude. I have overcome ordeals and made tough decisions.

My life is blessed by the love of an incredible woman and the adventures we have shared. In challenging times, I focus on the things I am grateful for and concentrate my energy on what I can control. I make a conscious effort to banish dark thoughts, which is never easy but always worth the effort. Besides Tina’s influence, who I am today is shaped by the decisions I made, the people I chose to listen to, the help I accepted, and the lessons I deemed worth learning. I am mostly my own creation, motivated by the following:

Perspective – I try to remain grounded and pragmatic. For example, during one visit to Tina, I couldn’t find her on the dementia unit, so a few of her carergivers helped search for her. She was in another resident’s room sorting rubbish bins. When she saw me, she shuffled towards me as fast as she could, arms wide open with a huge smile. Behind me, I heard Elle, a young caregiver, say, “Ah… I wish someone would greet me like that one day.” Most of the people I depended on every day were searching for what I had found, yet was now losing. That day, self-pity dissolved into perspective.

Positivity – I have cultivated a positive attitude toward life. I am not naturally exuberant, full of joy, energy, and enthusiasm, but I greatly dislike negativity, especially when spread by people with nothing better to offer.

Honesty – I am inherently honest. Once, I was refunded £10,900 on my credit card instead of £109.00. I returned it, even though no one had noticed. What’s crucial to me is striving to be honest with myself, which is never easy, but not trying would be one of the dumbest things I could do.

Trustworthiness – My least favourite people are those with warm smiles, loving words, big promises, and empty actions. My favourite people are unpretentious; they simply do what they say they will. I can trust and respect them—liking them is optional.

Meaning – Why do we suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that troubled Hamlet? Whether consciousness stems from a god or the big bang, I believe we grow through both good and bad experiences, and they must be in balance. The bigger the experience, the greater the growth.